I went out last night with friends to a local bar. As happens, I had to use the ladies' room. Miraculously there was no line. I dropped my pants and checked the seat in the dark stall for urine. I saw none, pulled my thong out of my ass, and sat down on the seat. I didn't realize a squatter had been there.
There is nothing quite so shockingly unappealing as the cold knowledge that you are sitting in someone else's piss. Apparently there exist women who are too scared to sit on a strange porcelain horseshoe.
Squatters are the scourge of all bars, some restaurants, and increasingly even workplaces. Once one of them enters and does her thing, spraying piss about like dogs in the wild, we all must follow suit and squat also.
Our only other option is to wipe up her urine. I am tired of wiping up strange women's urine. I am tired of sitting in squatters' urine.
Is this a female-only problem? Do you squat or sit?
The art is a drawing by Vincent Van Gogh titled Nude Woman Squatting Over a Basin. This was drawn in Paris, in 1887. It is currently at the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam.
45 comments:
Let me the first of your substantial fan club from the dark side to congratulate you on your new blog.
As for the question at hand... I believe this is an east coast phenomenon. I've never seen this happen here in Seattle. Otoh, I'm not much of a clubber.
Susan, aka ladyBgood
Hey Susan,
Welcome! I hope more dark siders pop over, but that site kind of envelops you, I know. Nice to see you!
Hey Sweetie, speaking from a guys perspective, we have the luxury of standing tall only to sit or squat when the need arises. But, I do hear you when speaking about cleaning up someone elses unnecessary mess. Worse thing that I can recall recently was at BWH where you'd think hospitals would be clean...not so in the men's room!
p.s. Nice to see you from the "dark side". I have to work on sprucing up my new blog here time permitting! Stay well!
KW aka RideMe
Hey KW, great to see you. I am shocked that at a hospital the bathrooms are filthy too! Yuck!
I'm hoping to pull a few more dark siders away from the site. We'll see though. I know it is a pretty compelling place somehow.
I have never had the misfortune to actually SIT in someone's urine; however, I have had to vacate the premises because someone left crap on the seat or so befouled the bowl that the flushing water couldn't cure the problem!
Lovely to know where you now reside! I will visit as frequently as possible!
XO
TOXIC
Major yuck Toxic! I've seen that too - actual crap on the toilet seat. What is the matter with people?
For what it's worth, I had to use google's blog search to find you, as your new site is neither your handle (I misread the first time) nor is it precisely the name of the old one; blogger is very picky. I figure that's the right level of "filter" from old to new ;-)
I don't find the dark side that compelling frankly; most of the "famous" women there seem rather sad or bitter to me and the rest are merely pathetic. Some of the men are humorous on occasion. That's why I found your blog there such a revelation, as I was convinced I was the only other woman there who read books for pleasure, for example. Still, it does work for what it's intended to do, at least for me and apparently for you, too. Looks like I'm "set" for awhile with a new partner I met only recently, so I'll take my usual three year hiatus before I need to go fishing again :-)
sorry, Nancy, that last comment is from Susan. Hit "send" before I remembered to add my name.
Susan, good to know it isn't as easy as I thought to find my new home. A person might have to actually do a bit of work to find it. So they lazy dick-in-hand crowd won't bother. :)
And thanks for the compliment on the blog. I tend to agree with you that a lot of the popular blogs there are either inane or almost commercial in their blatant sexual come ons and photos.
Some are great though, and I'll still try to visit them. It is a nice site because it gives you a captive audience. But mine got a little too popular and I couldn't keep up. Ah well.
I'm glad, once again, that I'm a guy!
Hey Nancy,
Thanks for the tip on this blogsite. This is my first visit here.
I suppose there are a few advantages to being a man. One of them is not having to navigate public toilet seats. LOL
This has been one of my pet peeves for years. Squatters will tell you that you can get crabs from a toilet seat. But nothing is worse than really having to pee, getting to the stall, not seeing any big splotches of urine on the seat, sitting down and discovering there's a fine mist. I swear to you, all public toilets have become this way. I don't know why people believe something that stupid.
MM so good to see you! How are you doing these days? I've missed you. We had fun with your hubby's blog.
MissAnn, where is your non-aff blog? You are such a good writer. In fact, you were one reason I stayed as long as I did over there.
I think I remember you saying you double posted...
I know what you mean -- I deal with that at work on occassion. What was that old gag "Ladies, Please Remain Seated During The Entire Performance!"
aka Abqlady2 from the other place
Hi Morgan! Great to see you. I like your blog. Hope you don't mind if I visit from time to time. :)
guilty squatter. my legs are strong and i don't like any strange toilet near my "stuff". i wipe off the seat before i leave if i need to.
crazygurl2xx from over there
Well, since I don't sit when I pee, I never have this issue. However, I do sit when I crap, and guys are NOTORIOUS for not lifting the seat, so there's ALWAYS someone's piss on the seat that has to be wiped up.
That being said, I always wipe down the seat twice before I sit on ANY toilet seat, except the one at my place because I'm such a clean person.
Another one from the "dark side." I guess I've fallen into the apathy towards the site and the blog also. We'll see if the new environment changes any of that.
I'm a squatter. For all of the reasons why you non-squatters complain. Who wants to bother with checking the seat, cleaning the seat? (ECCHHHH!!)
Whoops, forgot to say who I was . . . KMA!
Wonderful to have found you. Have enjoyed your other blog for quite a while. Glad you furnished the link. I am hoping to un-envelope myself from the dark side. And move over to somewhere like this eventually. (sigh)
Crazygurl, as long as you wipe off the seat after you finish I don't care. I really do know that some folks have a thing against sitting on strange toilet seats!
KMA,
Hey there! And congratulations on outing yourself as a squatter. I think there are support groups for that...
It is tempting even for me to squat, but sometimes I just want to sit my ass down on a toilet seat and pee.
Ya know?
How amusing, Nancy. Nice finally to know your name.
It happens in the men's restroom too. Say that there is only one toilet, not urinals. Some guy pisses all over the seat. Then the guy who has to go has to clean the seat before he can drop his pants.
This is especially true of trains and airplanes.
I have got to the point of wiping public toilet seats whenever I have to use one. Always wash hands thoroughly afterward.
All good luck in the new blog.
Cheers,
Ted.
I can safely say I have never experienced shock of a splash landing in squatter's urine.
I am thinking it is a female issue.
XX
MJ
I have found this problem as well. But what also perplexes me is this: sometimes the 'spray' or 'mist' on the seat is not from a squatter but is instead 'backsplash' for an overly agressive flushing system on the toilet. I mean, why does a toilet's flush have to be so powerful that water sprays up out of the bowl and land on the seat?
And, I must add, squatting is a fine art. After living in China, I have perfected the art.
Nancy,
This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I would have to say men can be equally as bad as the women in this regard. At my work there is a bathroom with both a urinal and toilet and is a single person bathroom with a lock. I continually find pee on the seat. So basically the men who do this won't pee in the urinal, even though they are all alone in the bathroom, and can't even hit the frickin toilet.
I'd hate to see their own bathroooms ... yuck!
-Frank
ms canoodle ...a fan of both your blogs.. :) wontkowtillutry
I tend to be a squatter... though a hundred years ago on Johnny Carson I learned something from Joan Rivers that my mother never taught me... how to toilet paper the seat before you sit down.....
of course that was the same episode where she talked about the problem with women having breast implants (early silicone type) and in california, they'd have an earth quake, and next day you'd wake up with a booby and a hip!
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Кому и как надо платить налог на недвижимость в Египте?
По вопросам приобретения недвижимости пишите:
ICQ: 437596608
Skype: asavostyan
Тел. +2 0187550818
С уважением ,Анастасия
В связи с вступлением в силу Закона N 196 «О налоге на недвижимое имущество» многие владельцы египетской недвижимости задают вопрос «Как быстро и правильно подать документы на первичную регистрацию в налоговых органах страны?». Вопрос очень важный, поскольку время этой процедуры ограничено сроком до января 2010 года. О нем мы остановимся более подробно несколько ниже.
Другой, часто задаваемый вопрос «Нужно ли проходить первичную процедуру регистрации в налоговых органах, потому что недвижимость дешевле 450 000 L.E?.»
Ответ юриста: «Да, первичная регистрация владельцев недвижимости в налоговых органах Египта необходима, равно как и ежегодная подача декларации о недвижимом имуществе. В случае уклонения от регистрации в налоговых органах и несвоевременной подачи налоговой декларации, владелец недвижимого имущества может быть подвергнут штрафу в размере до 2000 L.E., а при повторном нарушении закона – штраф удваивается ежегодно».
Следовательно, все владельцы недвижимого имущества обязаны пройти процедуру регистрации в налоговых органах, независимо от стоимости объекта недвижимости до января 2010 года.
Для этого нужно:
1. Предоставить следующие документы:
- копию заграничного паспорта владельца недвижимого имущества;
- копию договора купли-продажи недвижимости;
- копию генеральной доверенности от прежнего Владельца (Продавца);
Кроме того, налоговые органы требуют подтверждение истории объекта недвижимости. То есть необходимо подать копии документов:
- Договор на покупку земельного участка между Первым владельцем (застройщиком) объекта недвижимости и местным Советом (муниципалитет);
- копии всех доверенностей на объект недвижимости, если она была куплена на вторичном рынке;
2. При наличии всех документов необходимо передать полномочия Исполнителю юридических услуг на представление Ваших интересов в налоговых органах Египта. Полномочия осуществляются на основе нотариально заверенной Доверенности, оформляемой в Египте, г. Хургада.
В случае, если Ваш объект недвижимости будет оценен менее 450 000 L.E., то вы будете освобождены от налога.
В независимости от оценочной стоимости объекта недвижимости переосвидетельствование его цены происходит 1 раз в 5 лет. Следовательно, в будущем Вам придется проходить оценку недвижимого имущества по аналогичной процедуре.
Если объект недвижимого имущества оценен более, чем 450 000 L.E., налог будет вычислен по следующим тарифам:
Стоимость объекта недвижимости
Налоговый тариф, годовой
L.E.
$ USA, (курс 1$=5,45 L.E.)
L.E.
$ USA,
(курс 1$=5,45 L.E.)
450 000
$82 569
500 000
$91 743
30
$6
600 000
$110 092
156
$29
700 000
$128 440
282
$52
800 000
$146 789
408
$75
900 000
$165 138
534
$98
1 000 000
$183 486
660
$121
1 500 000
$275 229
1 290
$237
2 000 000
$366 972
1 920
$352
3 000 000
$550 459
3 180
$583
4 000 000
$733 945
4 440
$815
5 000 000
$917 431
5 700
$1 046
7 000 000
$1 284 404
8 220
$1 508
9 000 000
$1 651 376
10 740
$1 971
11 000 000
$2 018 349
13 260
$2 433
13 000 000
$2 385 321
15 780
$2 895
15 000 000
$2 752 294
12 300
$2 257
Оплата налога может производиться 2 раза в год (до июня и до декабря) равными частями или разово.
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