I went out last night with friends to a local bar. As happens, I had to use the ladies' room. Miraculously there was no line. I dropped my pants and checked the seat in the dark stall for urine. I saw none, pulled my thong out of my ass, and sat down on the seat. I didn't realize a squatter had been there.
There is nothing quite so shockingly unappealing as the cold knowledge that you are sitting in someone else's piss. Apparently there exist women who are too scared to sit on a strange porcelain horseshoe.
Squatters are the scourge of all bars, some restaurants, and increasingly even workplaces. Once one of them enters and does her thing, spraying piss about like dogs in the wild, we all must follow suit and squat also.
Our only other option is to wipe up her urine. I am tired of wiping up strange women's urine. I am tired of sitting in squatters' urine.
Is this a female-only problem? Do you squat or sit?
The art is a drawing by Vincent Van Gogh titled Nude Woman Squatting Over a Basin. This was drawn in Paris, in 1887. It is currently at the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam.
