I think I'm better with cats than with children. When I come home, Cujo meets me at the door, meowing loudly and continually. I have learned that this is his "I'm hungry" cry. So I fill his dish and take it to his area, saying, "Look Cujo, it's yummy yummy Cujo food for Cujo!" I like to say his name a lot, because I think somehow he will learn it and eventually come when I call him, fetch sticks, and guard the house against burglars.
My friend has a 2 year old child. To him I say, "So, have you considered colleges? What do you think you'd like to do?" And sometimes, "Geez, kid, get a job!" And, "Do you realize it is rather annoying when you run around and around the house like that slapping everyone?"
I pick Cujo up and stroke him, saying, "Good Cujo. What a good kitten you are, my little special kitty cat." Cat hair and dander flies everywhere. There are times when I seem to be wearing a cat hair suit.
I shake hands with my friend's child, then wash my hands, because we all know kids are germ magnets.
It's probably a good thing I forgot to have children.
The art is from an old 1980's T-shirt that I've always loved, based on a Roy Lichtenstein painting.